he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My penis needs a shock collar
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
