If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
