all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
