I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
