I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
