At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
