Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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