Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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