Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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