Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
