help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
