we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize