Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
