Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize