Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
