is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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