you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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