I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize