i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
