The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
