Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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