Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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