singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize