he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
