So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
