i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So vagazzling was a success
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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