i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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