i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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