I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize