he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
