You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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