Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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