Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
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just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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