hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That accounts for only three of the penises
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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