he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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