I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I party with great urgency now.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
