My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
