Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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