That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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