ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
