the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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