Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
