I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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