I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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