he puts the penis in happiness.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
