is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize