Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
