I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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