Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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