Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
