Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
