spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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