I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
