Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
