I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
