feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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