just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
