well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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