she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
