but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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