:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
