And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
