Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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