I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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